Of having a crappy week, anxiety attack and whatnot

Self enrichment books are not my thing 'cuz I thought that they're full of bullshit. (They are probably full of bullshit, I dunno. I never read them.) But The Secret series are probably the only self enrichment book series that I am willing to pick up and read (which I have briefly talked about in my 1st post on this blog 2 years ago! Shit how time passed). And it makes me feel like I got the whole universe figured out. It makes so much sense. Not that it is magical or anything. The book is trying to say that, above everything, positivity is the most important element for a healthy mind that eventually leads to a happy life.

This week has been crappy... Things just didn't go my way. I was miserable and lonely even though I'm perfectly fine being lonely on normal days (I am kind of a loner in some sort of way); Simon and I didn't get along (Simon is my GPS), I couldn't read him like I always do - I had to travel a few miles more and ended up wasting more time and fuel, it was raining and the jam was terrible... And I had an episode of anxiety attack at a junction while waiting for the traffic light to turn green - I couldn't breathe, I felt like the walls were closing on me and my heart was going to jump out of my chest......

First panic attack I have ever experienced that came out of nowhere. I didn't even know I am capable of having one. What went wrong I wondered. Was it caused by some abandon or attachment issue? (I'll talk about that more in future.)

So you see, positivity is really important. You are what you think. Negative thoughts are corrosive for both your mind and soul. It eats you, it breathes you and you'd end up with all these angry and dark emotions people'd stay away from you. Whatever is going on in your mind, you are attracting it to you.

I haven't been practising The Secret principles for awhile now because I didn't need to - I was happy with my boring filled-with-routine life, I didn't want anything in particular... But as I said, this week has been really, really shitty. Perhaps it's my hormones, or that The Universe is trying to test me. But nonetheless, starting tomorrow I'll need to bring up all the principles from a rusty archive stored in my brain, start to think of nothing but positive thoughts and I'll sail through all the bumps on the road regardlessly. It's a promise to myself.

Week #23: 端午节快乐!

1. How time flies! 11 weeks have passed so quickly and that concludes my bench work for my final year project. Which means, it's dissertation writing time. #nofun

2. Tiramisu from Tous Les Jours as supper because YOLO. (Do people still say YOLO?) On a side note, Master Chef (US version) is back, yay!

3. Braised beef glass noodle @ Fong Lye, my favourite Taiwanese restaurant at the moment. Feels good to have good food after a hectic week.

4. Look at this precious furball! <3 (I think he's a Bengal cat..?) Isn't he the cutest? Spotted him at Bangsar while we had our usual banana leaf rice.
Living inside a box must be torturous. He was constantly looking at a stray black kitten outside, as if he's jealous of the kitty that obviously has more freedom than him. Or maybe I'm overanalysing everything. Humans.

5. 端午节 is most probably my second favourite Lunar festival (Chinese New Year obviously being the first). Why? Well. I mean, look at all the yummylicious but sinful bakzhang. Mooncake festival used to be my second favourite but the mooncake crave kinds of worn off throughout the years. However the sad thing is till date (this year) I have not eaten even one bakzhang as I'm away from home as usual. I miss home atm. :( 

6. I guess there's no turning point once you broke a glassware. More are coming after you broke the first one. Same goes to dropping your phone. Some of my friends managed to last for a few months before they dropped their precious iPhones. And once the first accident happened, more followed. It's like a curse. Anyway what I'm trying to say here is that, since I was working in the laboratories for the past 11 weeks, breaking glasswares were quite common for us. However I managed to maintain my record... Only until week 8 where I finally broke a beaker. Then a glass rod. Then another beaker. And then a flask. -_- But still an achievement nonetheless. Like, 4 glasswares, pft, I'm sure with my clumsiness I can break more but I stay at 4. Right? You know what I'm saying? Ok? Ok.

6. Still have not watched Edge of Tomorrow, X-Men and How to Train Your Dragon, boo. :( Sorry my Goddess Emily Blunt, I promise I will support you in theatre.

7. Currently playing: Richard & Alice, an indie adventure game. The plot is intriguing but I was scared at some point all thanks to the mysterious and unknowing atmosphere. I know. Wuss.

8. Remember that I mentioned Corpse Party last week? I had a dream few days ago that was similar with Corpse Party but took place in my university laboratory. Corpses lying on top of benches... Yeah you get the idea. 

8. I'm attending the first prom in my life next Saturday! So excited! I have already decided what to do with my hair  and makeup but the dress. THE DRESS! The most important thing is still missing! Well that's just me being last minute, as usual. No surprise.

9. Novel I recommend this week: 《帝王业》by 寐语者. Fast pace, very well written and the plot line is very fluent and well executed. It is available online (FOC) so just Google and enjoy! Probably the best online fiction I have ever read. No wonder the writer is dubbed as "Queen of Romance Fiction" by the Chinese keyboard warriors. I will definitely check out her other novels.

10. Currently listening to Bombay Bicycle Club - So Long, See You Tomorrow (album). One of the things I love about indie is that it always makes me feel infinite. If you know what I mean, you're awesome. Brofist. ;)

Week #22: Mentally and physically tired

1. Prolly my last donation in campus. Can't believe this is my last semester here. :'(

2. Grilled eggplants and whatnot @ Sumi-ka. BEST. YAKINIKU. EVER!!! Like seriously, I can't get over how the beef melted on my tongue once I put it in my mouth. Every item we ordered exceeded our expectations. All the proteins are juicy and tender and even the eggplants are oh-so-delicious. The beef ribs were so good I nearly teared the moment I tasted it. Not exaggerating at all okay. I think I may have found my one true love. 

3. 31% on 31st. Peanut butter chocolate om-nom-nom!

4. (The bottle is so pretty.) Anyway this is how I spent my Saturday night. Let's just say that I woke up with drawings all over my hands and feet.

5. This week was so happening. Long story short, a series of events happened on our floor, (involving a mentally unstable woman, pink toxic fumes and roofs that fell from top floors into the balcony below us as well as the lake) for a second I thought that we might be cursed.

6. Managed to watch Maleficient this week as well. It was surprisingly amazing, I was actually expecting some cliche plot but nope! Disney surprised me again. Angelina Jolie is truly good in what she's doing. X-Men, Edge of Tomorrow, The Fault in Our Stars & How to Train Your Dragon next! Can't wait! :D

7. Had a dream that Johnny Depp was in our lab, sitting beside me, eagering to try my food samples. (Sadly Amber Heard was there too.) Why thank you Mr. Depp I'm deeply honoured to have you as my panellist.

8. Currently watching - Cry Plays: Corpse Party. A horror and gory Japanese game. It's a bit long but the interesting plot worth it anyway.

9. A random thought - What if Prince George and Harper Beckham have a play date? That'd be cute... And scandalous. *smirks*

10. Coming to the last week of my bench work. What I need the most now is luck, God.

Week #21: Summertime sadness

1. Big Daddy (RM32) and pan fried Atlantic salmon steak (RM35) @ Jibby & Co. The name of the pizza reminds me of Bioshock.

2. My favourite hummingbird cake @ Whisk, Empire Subang.

4. Strawberry, hazelnut & lychee pavlova (RM13.90), chocolate brownie (RM13.90) and cabonara mafaldine (RM23.90) @ Delicious. They're having buy 1 free 1 promotion (pasta only) on Mondays and Tuesdays from 3pm onwards. 

6. Dim Sum @ Foo Hing, Puchong. It's been a long while since I last had dim sum. ♡

7. Vida, Ferdinand and Giggsy have retired. Thanks for all the good memories my abang, I will definitely miss you lads. GGMU forever red.

8. I have finally got an internship offer. Was kind of worried since it's been more than a month since I submitted my resume. Thank you God. ♡

9. This week was supposed to be my 1 week-mid-semester break but I couldn't leave as there were too many tasks on hands. Been having lunch way past lunch hour (more like dinner, if you think about it) and my heels hurt every night for running between labs. Luckily I wasn't the only one - Having company while busying my ass off definitely makes me feel less lonely. ♡

10. There was a convocation ceremony in campus 2 days ago. It will be my turn next year. Time can you please slow down? Not ready yet.

11. The final round of Thomas Cup had just finished an hour ago. So proud of you Team Malaysia, well done! ♡ Can't imagine the pressure each of the athletes were carrying as so many people were watching and counting of them. I'd probably piss my pants.

12. Bourjois is launching soon in Malaysia! Can't wait to get my hands on the foundation. Hopefully healthy mix serum as well as the bronzer are available on shelves.

13. This week's obsession: Sam Smith. I wonder if he likes the title the media put on him ('male Adele', if you have no idea).

14. Current midnight playlist: Nujabes. RIP.

14. 'Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.' Preach.

Week #20: Trailing thought

1. Standing Theory @ SS2. Missing their heavenly good peanut butter chocolate cake at this hour.

2. Factory visit to Yakult, on Wesak day. Yup, a public holiday. FOL. Good experience nonetheless.

3. How does one know how to love someone, if one does not know how to love oneself? A relationship is a two-way street. He gives you your heart and you give him yours. Don't you know when you're hurting yourself, you are crushing him too?

4. "Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are." 
- Ladies and gentlemen, season finale of Grey's Anatomy, which means Cristina Yang is officially signing off. I'm so going to miss her.

5. There's something special about him – The way he walks, or how the air moves around him, so elegant, like an aristocrat. He always looks so painfully beautiful. It pierces my heart, just to dream about him.

6. 

"I wonder
whose arms would I run and fall into
if I were drunk
in a room with everyone
I have ever loved."

Week #19: Happy birthday, mom!

1. Weekly visit to Starbucks (for the summer promo)! I ordered banana & caramel cream frap this time. Hey lookie, they finally got my name right! (After 398,754 attempts.)
3. Site visit at Bubba Gump, Citta Mall. Chocolate Chip Cookie Sundae (RM15.90) is gigantic.
5. A porridge (brought by my dear classmate) a day keeps the heart warm... Away? Anyway? (Bear with me. Can't find a suitable word that starts with A to rhyme. Heh.)
6. I was a recipient of the dean's list award this week. Definitely didn't see this coming. Anyway, thanks for the honour; mom said it's the perfect birthday and mother's day present for her.

Week #18: Stress, you calling?

1. Fresh tomato fried egg with fish & steamed fish with pineapple (RM21.80 each) @ Fong Lye, Sunway Pyramid. Ohmagawdddd I love the food at Fong Lye why did I discover it so late! Wish I could eat there everyday!
2. Meatballs @ Ikea because one does not simply say no to meatballs. And the springrolls. 99 cents? SO GOOD. WANT MORE, NOW.
3. Gelatomio ice cream, buy 1 free 1 @ Cold Storage. Not sure when will the promotion end though. The chocolate flavour is so sinfully yum.
4. Starbucks promotion is back! Caramel Ribbon Crunch, that's what I ordered. So sweet it gave me mild headache, aiyaya. (Looks like the straw is stuck in my nostril but it's not.)

This week was so stressful! Glad it was over but sadly this is merely the beginning boohoo. 1 presentation down but 2 more are waiting for me, sounds like fun! On the upside, water rationing is over, finally! Boy was I glad!
Also I've been wanting to watch Cry's old LPs so I came across To The Moon and... So. Much. Emotion. ;___; Ken Gao is a genius. What a beautiful story (and the music!). Go watch peeps, it's worth the time.
On the other hand, miss my mom terribly! I miss home-cooked food, I miss home... Wish I was home. 

Week #17:Every happy moment

1. Love the exterior and interior of Jibby & Co. How I wish I have a sun room/green house just like this.
2. The Hangover (RM29) @ Jibby & Co., Empire Gallery.
3. Check this out! Tomato-coeur de boeuf, or beefsteak tomato that is sold at RM83 per kilogram. Whaaaaaat.
4. Inexpensive and okay-ish dim sum @ Yan Yan, Old Klang Road.
5. The girls and I cooked spaghetti this week! Prego sauce, hot dogs and mushrooms, yum yum. Used lok-lok sticks as chopstick 'cuz we ran out of forks. Gotta improvise yo.
6. Tiramisu waffle (RM15) and strawberry bingsu (RM10.80) @ Caffe Bene, Sunway Pyramid. Omaigawddd I love Belgium waffle! Can't get enough of them! On the other hand the bingsu was okay, it tastes just like your regular ice kacang. Well... Except that ice kacang doesn't always come with a gelato. Anyway the sour tasting gelato goes very well with the sweet strawberry and red bean paste, giving the ice flakes a balance overall taste so even though it is sweet but it somehow tastes very pleasant and not overly stuffy... You get what I mean? 

Week #16: Blissful

1. Flat white and French vanilla latte @ Cosans Coffee, SS15. Hot beverage on a rainy day, hmm. Bliss.

2. Know the feeling how you're so tired you don't wanna move your ass? Reluctant to get lunch even when you're starving just because your legs won't listen to your brain? Yeah. So the girls cooked sweet potato porridge. Thanks to everyone who contributed. ♡

3. Chewy Caramel & Double Coat Tim Tam, all the way from Australia, brought by coursemate. ♡

4. Miam Miam spaghetti (RM26.80), lobster bisque pasta (RM29.80) and Riz Noir (RM28.80) @ Miam Miam, 1 Utama. I somehow prefer the branch at Penang. Service,ambience and food quality wise. Just saying. Or maybe I'm just biased.

5. Gerai Makanan Japanese BBQ (大众烧肉) @ Taman Desa. A very fine place to chill, especially after a rainy day. The pork is awesome, beef not so. And damn, Genghis Khan is a must. (You: 'What?') I'm not making any sense but go there and you'll see.

6. Restoran 2008 Snow Beer @ Cheras. First snow beer I ever tried and it was gooooooooooood. And the salted pork! Pooooooork. So good. 

7. Happy Easter everybody! Gotta say I did pretty well in Lent, for giving up some stuff that I've promised Him a month ago. *proceed to pat self on the head* Jesus must be very proud of me. Thanks man. Brofist, big J.

Week #15: Nerve-wrecking

1. Did manicure at a shop I shan't name (@ Sunway Pyramid). The service was bad and the staff were unprofessional. But I was ready to take this trip as a lesson and let the bad experience go. However a few days later my middle finger was swollen and the throbbing pain even lasted for two days! After Googling I found out that it is in fact a bacterial infection that is known as paronychia and is usually caused by unsterilised manicure tools. Wow. That is just unbelievable. Seriously? Unsterilised tools? Never. Again.

2. Love window shopping at Marks & Spencer. I mean, look at their packaging!

3. Porky Nest from Burgertory, SS15. Remember my cholesterol problem? Yea my brother didn't because he is a devil sent by the cholesterol department. (Burger alongside with other food that is bad for your heart that you can list out is his favourite food.) Arrived at Burgertory around 8 and there wasn't any available seats so we decided to take away. We waited for 45 minutes. Totally worth it though. Just look at Porky. (Sorry, heart and vessels.)

4. Had a mini road trip to Sepang with my girls this afternoon. Was supposed to collect dragon fruits from a supplier for their research study. Unfortunately the supplier messed up the harvest date and we went home empty-handed. It was fun nonetheless. We then decided to go for something sweet to deal with our disappointment and hence Wondermilk @ Citta Mall. Major love the ambience and the deco. 

5. Pink Sakura (soda; lychee & peach combo) and hot chocolate. 

6. Cookies & Cream, Peanut Butter Chocolate, Royal Vanilla, Foxy Red Velvet.

7, 8. Velvet in a jar, RM15. Yumz.

9. Infinite bracelet from Diva. A random gift from a very dear friend. ♡

It was a very nerve-wrecking week - We had poster presentation on Wednesday (I did neither good nor bad, though it could be better) and our works did not turn out as pleasant as I thought it would be. Felt really depressed for half a day, until I realised that there's no point dwelling over failure and instead of sulking, what I should really be doing is to get up off my feet and learn from my mistake.

And I praise the Lord for not abandoning me and giving me strength, especially when I need Him most. 

Week #14: Stress management

1. Tai-tai time again! This time it was at the newly opened TWG Tea Salon @ Sunway Pyramid. Finally had the chance to try the scones. Love love love scones, and it's so hard to come by a good scone nowadays, you know? And the macarons! Urgh! Don't get me started! (Refer here to know why.) If you haven't tried, you must. I insist.

2. Routine tea pot shot, titled 'Tea arrived! Friend wanted to taste, but firstlet mehaveaselfie!'

3. FYI it's priced at RM5 for each.

4. 798 Shabu Shabu @ Sunway Pyramid. RM29 including tax (student price) on afternoons. Love this new Shabu place. Clean environment, air-conditioned (synonym: not stuffy), a few choices of soup, various steamboat ingredients to grab, unlimited meat (and Dory fish) slices... One word: Satisfying. (Note: There isn't seafood such as prawns, squids etc but frankly I don't even care. I tend to avoid seafood when having steamboat for obvious reason... Unless it's prepared by my dearest mother. You're the best, mom. I heart you.)

5. Kordel's Hi-Omega Fish Oil, RM148.90 for 2 @ Caring Pharmacy. Decided to do something regarding my spiking high triglyceride and LDL-C levels. I know fish oil is not the best solution but let's just give it a try. (But... But you just had steamboat.) Sigh. I know. But but but first. It's Shabu Shabu. Second. My FYP was stressing me out so I binge ate to counter my stress (yet guilt slowly masked over once the stress was gone.) And third... I run out of excuse kthxbye. 

6. Tony Roma's @ Citta Mall. The newly opened steakhouse is having buy 2 free 1 promotion (entrée only) currently until 20th April. Fillet Medallion is yum. And the rib. And the coleslaw. And the mashed potato. Okay now I'm hungry.

7. Korean food fair @ Empire Gallery. I love me some banana milk. (Brownie in a box, what!)

8. Tous les Jours @ Bangsar. Buying breakfast (for the next day) before having my weekly-must-have banana leaf.

Week #13: And so it begins

1. Chamomile tea & mango yoghurt smoothie @ Cosans Coffee, SS15. Felt so good to be able to hang out with my friends for the entire week, given the fact that by 3 months we won't be able to see each other so frequently, as in on a daily basis.
2, 3. Brilliant decoration using umbrellas @ Empire City, Perdana Damansara.
4. Graffiti art @ Bangsar. I miss you, banana leaf.
5. The last semester of my degree studies have officially begun. Final year project is definitely not a piece of cake, especially when we only have approximately 2 months to finish our labwork. But again, this too shall pass. This phrase is in my mind every time I wake up from sleep with mind full of works or when I'm about to make a not-so-easy and critical decision. Perhaps I should tattoo it on my arm... Just kidding.
6. Parents came to KL over the weekend for the Qingming festival. Felt good to be pampered again, even if it was only for 3 days.

Week #12 summary: Only hate the road when you're missing home

1. Most of the days in this week were spent on doing the first part of my dissertation, to a point that I felt claustrophobic just by looking at all the little black words in my Word file. I mean, is that even possible?
2. Divergent is on screen now but I have yet to see the movie. Although the book is a disappointment but I was (slightly) impressed by the trailer. Hopefully it is as good as it looks.
3. Anyway, look at the burger! It is March's special "The Superstar" at The Daily Grind, Bangsar. The battered and deep fried bun is made of cheese... My cholesterol spike just by looking at it. Although I can't say that my Philly cheese steak sandwich is a much healthier option.
4. Have been away from home for 5 days but am glad to say that seeing all the familiar faces actually make me feel less homesick.