Great minds think alike

Bro, "There's ice cream in the fridge. Baskin Robbin." (Sis-in-law bought them.)

Me, "Yassss. Flavour?" Thinking, please don't be mint, please don't be mint.

Bro, "It's chocolate... And mint."

Me, "Yuck. It's like eating toothpaste!"

Bro, " *nod* I have no idea why would people buy that flavour."

Me, "I. Know."

Breaking the first rule of Fight Club

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."

- Fight Club

Do we wear designer's clothes just because it bears the designer's name, or because it looks appealing to you, even without the name?

I despise materialism.
But did I ever take the bait? Did I become one of them?
I'd be lying if I say I didn't.

So yes, I'm a slave of money.
I'm also a hypocrite.

Jess' Utterly Pointless Poem #1

I wonder why should I even bother
to fold my panties into
neat
tiny
little balls,
since I'm going to wear the freshly washed one on the next day.
But I fold them
anyway.

Doing the right thing..?

All my life, I always find myself to be stuck in a fairly small community. Ever since I have graduated from my high school, it seems like no matter what you do, you just can't escape from the very same community. Even though high school is so behind my back and we're not seeing everyone anymore, I always find that we are still very close and we keep each other's life up-to-date.

People always say what's in the past is in the past. SO not true. From where I come from, past haunts you forever. People will always remember what you did and your glorious history will be mentioned from time to time. And your image in everyone's mind will tend to remain the same for a very very long time even though you have made some changes successfully.
ie. A high school reunion gathering - "Remember her? Remember what she did last time?"

True story. It might sounds rather pathetic, but it is actually a very good moral guidance for me whenever I'm about to make a big decision, even though it is also true that you shouldn't let people's thoughts to bother you. But sometimes, what you think might be a right decision, might not actually be the best decision. And sometimes, people's judmental thoughts are actually right.

What will people think of me? Will people point fingers and talk about me behind my back? It prevents you from making a rash decision, you know what I'm saying? Like becoming the other woman, 'cuz trust me, that will haunt you for life. And you'll always become one of the after-meal topics in a reunion dinner. "Remember what she did?" Trust me. Been there done that.

What I'm trying to say is that, it's okay to follow your heart, or whatever hipster advice or excuse you told yourself (ie. YOLO, live without regret etc.), but you have to know, following your heart is overrated. And it's usually not the right thing to do. If everyone lives by the code follow your heart 'cus you only live once!, this world we live in would be so full of disasters. Imagine killers murdering people on streets and they can't be arrested because they are simply following their hearts. Or people peeing on the streets just because. You know what I'm trying to say?

Sometimes people just seem to forget that life is like a huge portfolio and what one did, no matter good or bad, benign or in purpose, contributes to one's portfolio. You can run away from your past and have a fresh start over in a new city, but people will not forget. Your past will always come back and kick you in the ass. (I mean, look at Serena from Gossip Girls? Best example or what?)

Just my two cents. *shrugs*

Carpe diem.

Bought this in Nagoya, Japan 2 years ago (woah, how time flies) on a chilly night.

Burst into Starbucks and had an awkward brief conversation with the barista, well given the fact that all I know how to speak is "マレーシアからです 日本語が話せません" (I come from Malaysia. I don't speak Japanese). Damn the Japanese they speak so fast my brain can't even think of a response to reply. All I could do was nod or respond by giving them an awkward smile. Bet I look like an idiot.

Anyway back to the topic. Funny how I bought a tumbler but I have never used it. Never, for the last 2 years. It's just that every time when I want to use it, all I can think of is breaking it or dropping it etc. I've been this way for all my life. Bought a nice pencil box or eraser (yes I know, it's just a freaking eraser), kept them in my drawer. Bags or clothes that held a special meaning or was given by someone special, locked 'em in the closet. Even food! Bought a cake from Japan and didn't eat it not until the expiry date (I know. Don't judge). Well you see the pattern.

I'm just afraid of losing things that are important to me, you know? Even a tiny dent or scratch flips my switch. I just can't bear it (Jeez I sound like I have some serious issue). My mom saw it through me and she said, "When are you going to use it then? When you're old? When you're dead? ... You can't take it to your grave, you know."

Ok this post is going no where. What I want to say is: live for the moment, or carpe diem. You'll never know when's your last day, so what's worth of not living your life, or not being who you want until the last of your days?

I have no idea what brought up this thought. Maybe because that it's been extremely stressful these few days, making me to think stuff that is always hidden beneath a part of my brain, or maybe because of this article.

Am I making the right choice? Am I doing what I want to do? Will my future self hate me for making this choice? What will she say? Will my parents be proud of me? I've been asking myself lately. And sometimes the future scares me. I know everyone has the same thought and they have also been constantly questioning themselves throughout their entire lives. Maybe it's a part of being an adult, or maybe it's just how society has shaped us.

... Enough of the dark thought! Hakuna matata! Why worry about tomorrow when you know everything will work out just well, and the problems will be solved by the universe? Yup that's kinda my law of attraction.

Again, this is going nowhere. Best if I hit the sack now cuz my brain is frying up. Until the next time, right when I've finished all my tasks. Sad story of a lifeless 3rd year student.

x Jess

My glucose they be poppin'

Guess what. It's finger pricking day.

It wasn't my first finger pricking and this lab session was fun... Until you were poked more than 3 times on the same finger. The needles didn't get deep enough a few times wtf.

And also, my total cholesterol level & triglyceride (TG) level were "borderline high" wtf fml.
Amazingly my glucose level was normal even though I had a banana 1 hour before the test.

I can't imagine what is my cholesterol level if I did not eat oat & whole grain cereal as I do now (3 weeks and counting).
I guess it's time to suck it up and hit the gym for some cardio no matter how reluctant I am.
I've been wanting to start eating clean but it's so hard! (I know I know, finding excuse for myself)

First of all, I have no idea how to cook a "clean" meal Yes I get the concept, but the recipe..? They're so complex! (excuse detected) Why isn't there a "clean" meal that only requires 5 minutes for preparation? (MORE EXCUSE!) And not to forget cooking for one is so hard. You have the pressure constantly to finish all the fresh food before it is spoiled (endless excuse). Like my banana. That I bought on Monday & turned black on Thurs & Fri (CAN ANYONE TEACH ME HOW TO LET THEM STAY FRESH?!).

So yea. At least eating whole grain cereal is the first baby step. Right? Right?
Hitting the gym next week. Zumba please have mercy on me.

x Jess

Dumb and dumber shopping for a cooking pot

So my boyfriend and I had lunch at a mall some days ago and I wanted to buy a mini cooking pot that can satisfy my instant noodles crave. We finally saw a stainless steel pot which is in the right size in a store and I was wondering whether does it work on an induction stove as the place I’m currently renting only have 2 little induction cookers (meh but they have their advantages - landlord wouldn’t need to worry about the gas constantly). Last I remembered, my dad once tried to cook instant noodles (it’s a family thing) using a RM5 Daiso aluminium pot and the water couldn’t even warm up. So I googled it with my phone and turned out induction cooker works with anything that has magnetic properties including stainless steel and of course, excluding aluminium. But being an unfaithful person that always has doubt, I told my boyfriend that we should search for a magnet anyway to double confirm, just being careful and all. So both of us were searching high and low throughout the little store for a magnet. And I found one on a door of a steel cabinet (even smaller than a penny). But the magnet was too small comparing with the pot but my boyfriend told me he felt a little attraction (lol). So I bought the pot in the end.

I think the people working there might be thinking, wtf are these 2 monkeys doing?