I guess i’ll just have to take a step back

You have your views, while I have mine,

How do we compromise,

Yet be satisfied?

Midnight Thoughts of A 32 y/o Lady

If you weren’t invited, don’t go.

If none of your friends told you, don’t ask.

If you got a late invite, respectfully decline.

They had no intention of including you.

Saw this on TikTok, and how true is that.

“We didn’t know you’d want to go”

“We thought you were busy”

Sounds familiar? This totally sucks.

I understand that you’re tired of being the afterthought, the seat filler, the second or even third option.

It makes you question yourself, your worth, everything you’ve said and done.

Maybe I am the problem? It’s not them, it’s me..?

It hurts, but they’re not worth it.

Let’s move on. Just let go.

Know your worth, stay away from unhealthy relationship.

Don’t ever get disrespected and devalued.

Find new circle, get quality friends.

Be accepted, be loved.

Focus on your mental health, and be happy.

New Year! Old Me?

Hey guys, happy new year!

2020 is finally behind us - It had been an utter shit show, I'm sure everyone can agree on that.

Now that we're stepping into a new year, I've been thinking about new year's resolutions.

Yes, you heard me right. New year's resolution.

I wasn't a big believer in new year's resolution (probably still not), as I believe one should take action immediately to do whatever one wants without having to wait for the 'right time'.

But for the past couple of weeks, I've been contemplating about what changes I need to implement to make my life better, for my own sake.

Since we are now venturing into a brand new year, new year's resolution eh? I thought.

Why not? Might as well.

Here goes - My new year's resolution on the year I turn three-O.

#1 Be active... Again.

I was an avid Zumba and STRONG by Zumba attendee back in 2019, but 2020 came and shit hit the fan. Instead of going to the gym for at least 3 Zumba sessions like I did in 2019, I sadly... did nothing in 2020.  

Although a weekly badminton session is still in the itinerary, but to be honest, it doesn't really contribute much given to the amount of rest time I have between sets (we have more than 10 players sharing a court, you can do the math yourself).

Back in March/April when the entire Malaysia was under lockdown, I picked up Chloe Ting's 2-week challenge. I felt a sense of achievement upon completing her hardcore 2-week programme, but after that I took a long rest - a very very long rest. Perhaps, too long 'cos I haven't done anything afterward.

What can I say? Life and work caught up and I didn't have time (more on time in point #2).

Ehem, excuses excuses.

So, 2021 - More exercises.

So not looking forward to working out, but it has to be done!

#2 Cultivate a healthy and consistent sleep schedule

Other than workouts, I am ashamed to admit that I have a very shitty sleep routine. It gets worse as I grow older. I sleep around 1-2am and wake up around 7-8am.

This is all because of 'revenge bedtime procrastination' - I feel like I have lesser me-time if I go to bed early, since I reach home (from work) late. And so the more I sleep late, the more I wake up late, causing myself to have shorter personal time at night.

As you can probably imagine, this becomes an endless poor cycle of balancing sleep and leisure time.

2021 - Develop a healthy sleep routine.

#3 Eat healthy and develop good postures

I've always been a sloucher - I've been slouching for years.

Since I'm reaching the big three-O this year, I've got to seriously look into correcting my postures as any bad position can really set off a long period of back and shoulder pains.

I've also decided to eat healthy - Even though to be fair, I've always been sort of a healthy eater as I don't enjoy junk food and fast food.

But years of being a pushover (friends would ask me to finish food we couldn't finish and I have trouble saying no - more on that in the next resolution) and the deep-rooted do-not-waste-even-a-grain-of-rice Chinese education engraved in my brain by my mother throughout the years have turned me into someone who is capable to eat big portions.

Needless to say - It's time to control my portion. Not striking for FULL, but just enough. 

#4 Be assertive.

I've always been a timid mouse - A shocking fact to lots of people perhaps, because I may have given off the vibes of an extrovert (I'm really not). But the truth is, deep down I'm a pushover.

I'm afraid that people might think that I am 'troublesome', 'hard to get along' or 'cold', so I agree to things or plans I do not really enjoy. Not only that, I also have troubles saying no to people.

I try to be 'easygoing', but along the way, perhaps I have lost my voice.

There's a fine line between being assertive and being an asshole though.

Let's hope I am able to find a balance between these twos.

That is it! 4 minor and achievable new year's resolutions that I hope can become a constant in my life starting this year.

Wish me luck? Let's hope I will not forget everything I've written today next week!

It’s Pumpkin Spice Season!

... Or not, as today is already the last day of November. Yikes.

Doesn’t it scare you though - The way time passed by so quickly that we are officially one month away from 2021? I haven’t even had time to stop and catch a breath from all the heavy-hitting this year has been giving us!

 

Anyway, we all know that October is the season of PSL (pumpkin spice latte, of course) and even though this post is long overdue, I thought I’d share a few lipsticks from my collection that are inspired by my everlasting love for everything autumn.

What is the appropriate number of pumpkin coloured lipstick one can have? Because it seems like I have way too many!

Colourpop Just a Tint Lip Crayon in Z Boy • Cezanne Lasting Lip Color in #504 - Bought it last year around this time in Tokyo... Man, I really wish travelling! • Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Mattes Lipstick in Chili Nude • Makonde Highlight Lip Tint in No. 9 Number Memory • Maybelline SuperStay Matte Ink in Globetrotter • Dior Ultra Rouge in #436 Ultra Trouble

What do you think? Is this leaning more towards autumn-y pumpkin spice season? Or a little bit closer to chilli summer vibe?

Either way, we only have 1 season in Malaysia so I guess it doesn’t really matter!

However, one thing is definitely and absolutely clear - I should really really refrain myself from buying more lipsticks, of this colour family at least.

Oh well, I guess it’s shop-my-stash from now on!

Hey There.

How are you? It has been awhile.

I'm doing fine. Just taking one step at a time.
And hey, look how far we've come.

Life's okay. I traveled bunch of times, been here and there.
My job gives me purpose. I have fewer friends now, but I'm glad they're still around.

I feel like I've changed, throughout the years.
More cynical, more exasperate, more indifferent.
Perhaps I've turned into Squidward, like most adults do.
Perhaps this is just a rite of passage?

By the way.
Have you noticed?
The world's on fire. We haven't even been through a quarter of 2020, but it definitely feels like half a year has passed.

But hey,
Let's hang in there. We'll be okay.
We always do.

Piper & Her Twin

Had a dream that I was back in high school talking to one of my dear friends during recess.
In the middle of the conversation, her twin sat down beside her and joined us.

Wait what? I didn't know she had a twin. She never told us, and I never see her at school! I was so confused when her twin sister showed up.
(FYI - she doesn't have a twin in real life.)

"Who the fuck are you..." I thought to myself. But of course I didn't say that out loud. I have manners after all, even in my dream.
I looked at her, squinting my eyes. "I don't think it's polite to stare," my conscious nagged.

They looked identical, with the same beauty mark, big doe eyes, and a hair cut so short the hair merely reached just half an inch below the ears. But somehow I was able to differentiate them. And I didn't like her. She was too foreign to me.

"Is she... the evil twin?" I thought.
"Stop being dramatic, they're sisters!" My dream conscious chided.
"... Fine. I still don't like her." I continued staring at her.

And then I woke up, confused for a few seconds, then chucking to myself once the dream sank in.
The dream is ridiculous, as she had looked exactly the same as she did 10 years ago in my dream. I'm pretty sure she has long hair now, always wearing her signature winged-liners and definitely no twin sister, especially given that I've just seen her last month.

God. I guess I miss high school? That'd probably explain the bizarre dream.

Love ya Piper, I hope you don't have a twin stashed in a corner somewhere. x

Unboxing Sleek Makeup i-Divince Vintage Romance Palette

I'm sure you heard of Sleek Makeup. If you don't, I strongly recommend you to try out their eyeshadow palette. The quality is phenomenal for its affordable and reasonable pricing; Good colour payoff, and the texture is buttery and not chalky at all. The eyeshadows are also long lasting (on my dry lids, at least) even without a primer. No to mention that the packaging is sleek and travel friendly.

I really love all the warm neutral shades (surprise surprise!) such as Meet in Madrid, Court in Cannes, and Propose in Prague as well as 3 of the gorgeous purples in the bottom left corner. This palette is versatile and you can simply create literally any look with it. The only con I can think of is perhaps that eyeshadow fallout is prone to happen so I'd suggest putting foundation only after you're done with your eye makeup.

This is the first product from Sleek I own and I am impressed! I will definitely try out the other palettes. More are on the way...