Of having a crappy week, anxiety attack and whatnot

Self enrichment books are not my thing 'cuz I thought that they're full of bullshit. (They are probably full of bullshit, I dunno. I never read them.) But The Secret series are probably the only self enrichment book series that I am willing to pick up and read (which I have briefly talked about in my 1st post on this blog 2 years ago! Shit how time passed). And it makes me feel like I got the whole universe figured out. It makes so much sense. Not that it is magical or anything. The book is trying to say that, above everything, positivity is the most important element for a healthy mind that eventually leads to a happy life.

This week has been crappy... Things just didn't go my way. I was miserable and lonely even though I'm perfectly fine being lonely on normal days (I am kind of a loner in some sort of way); Simon and I didn't get along (Simon is my GPS), I couldn't read him like I always do - I had to travel a few miles more and ended up wasting more time and fuel, it was raining and the jam was terrible... And I had an episode of anxiety attack at a junction while waiting for the traffic light to turn green - I couldn't breathe, I felt like the walls were closing on me and my heart was going to jump out of my chest......

First panic attack I have ever experienced that came out of nowhere. I didn't even know I am capable of having one. What went wrong I wondered. Was it caused by some abandon or attachment issue? (I'll talk about that more in future.)

So you see, positivity is really important. You are what you think. Negative thoughts are corrosive for both your mind and soul. It eats you, it breathes you and you'd end up with all these angry and dark emotions people'd stay away from you. Whatever is going on in your mind, you are attracting it to you.

I haven't been practising The Secret principles for awhile now because I didn't need to - I was happy with my boring filled-with-routine life, I didn't want anything in particular... But as I said, this week has been really, really shitty. Perhaps it's my hormones, or that The Universe is trying to test me. But nonetheless, starting tomorrow I'll need to bring up all the principles from a rusty archive stored in my brain, start to think of nothing but positive thoughts and I'll sail through all the bumps on the road regardlessly. It's a promise to myself.