December 23, 2014

Lang Leav


Some wounds never truly heal.
We just simply learn how to live with the pain for the rest of our lives.
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December 19, 2014

Bits & Pieces


• Jam & Kaya • Podgy & The Banker • Everyone Loves Ikea • Black Market @ Main Place • Haagen-Dazs • Fat Spoon • Plan B 

Leaving KL in a week.
Saying goodbye is never easy.
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December 14, 2014

Daily Night Routine


• DIY lavender pillow spray • scented floral bowl candle from Ikea • Current Read • Soap & Glory Hand Food Hand Cream • St. Ives 24 Hour Deep Restoring Body Lotion • My bedroom buddies from Ikea 

Can't believe we're in the last month of 2014!
Slow down please, time.
I'm trying to catch up, can't you see?
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December 10, 2014

Breaking the first rule of Fight Club

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."
- Fight Club
Do we wear designer's clothes just because it bears the designer's name, or because it looks appealing to you, even without the name?

I despise materialism.
But did I ever take the bait? Did I become one of them?
I'd be lying if I say I didn't.

So yes, I'm a slave of money.
I'm also a hypocrite.

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December 4, 2014

Throwback Travel Log #1: Tokyo


A couple nights ago I was chatting with a buddy of mine - me and him, we go way back. See that's the beauty of friendship between old friends, we only talk once half a year but 1 session is enough to last the following 6 months.

Anyway, he was talking about how he doesn't wanna turn into an ordinary person with a typical life -  someone who is content with his routine-based 9 to 5 life and spend the next 30 years living the same way, just like basically - everyone we know of. (Not that a life like this is bad, don't get me wrong.)

We are programmed and expected to be this way by the society - Graduate from high school, get a college degree, score a stable job with reasonable income, climb the corporate ladder, get married and make babies, and mould your kids the same way.

What happened to passion? What happened to doing things you love, things you strongly believe in?
Some people are living the life they envisioned, but sadly not all of us have the privilege.

We want to be anything but typical. We want to be extraordinary.
As hipster as it may sound.

I was with my parents the first time I visited Tokyo. We didn't stay for long - 2 nights perhaps.
It was fun; walking around the city as an outsider, taking everything the city has to offer for a tourist.
I went back a year later as I simply couldn't resist the temptation - the city mesmerises me in ways I can't explain.

To live and walk on the streets just like every other citizens - It was simply a delightful experience and I enjoyed every moment to bits... Not until staying in the city for almost a week, as I started to feel suffocated by the robotic lifestyle. I felt like as if I am a claustrophobic person, trapped in a small, dark and enclosed elevator with limited air supply.

I guess I was scared by the routines and rules you're expected to obligate - Queue in an ordered way before you get into the train, no talking in the train nor even elevator, black formal attire with black leather bag if you're a white collar... Heck, even college students who are on job hunts have their own specific dress codes. As if you'd be a social pariah if you try to stop doing exactly what others are doing and live outside of these brackets you are set to follow.

And today, I have finished my college, one leg stepped into the society and guess what?
I'm living exactly like what I was afraid I'd turn into. A person with boring 9 to 5, who choose to stay home on weekends because I'm always tired (sleep however more will never be enough), slowly losing my ambitions and goals because a simple, no-fuss life would maybe be enough.

I told myself I wouldn't turn into one of them.
I don't wanna be like them. But I'm turning into one of them.

What happened to being extraordinary? Isn't that what I want, what I always envision?
I ask myself everyday.

Pardon my exaggerations - These are just what I felt at that moment, an epiphany that I don't want to be ordinary, playing safe and not taking risks for the rest of my life just because I'm afraid of getting hurt.

A gentle reminder for myself, I guess.
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December 1, 2014

Jess' Utterly Pointless Poem #1

I wonder why should I even bother
to fold my panties into
neat
tiny
little balls,
since I'm going to wear the freshly washed one on the next day.
But I fold them
anyway.
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November 25, 2014

It is as if nothing has changed. But everything has obviously changed.

I imagined her driving alone from a place where she used to stay a year ago to her uncle's apartment. She's been here for 5 days but tomorrow she's leaving. And I imagined another friend sleeping soundly on a plane that would land at Dubai. On the meantime, I open the door to my dorm, a room that I have stayed for the past 3 years, which I will eventually move out this weekend.

What if I woke up tomorrow, and we are back to 2012 again?
I'd give anything to relive those days, spend more time with them...
But it's a wishful thinking.
And next year, we will hardly see each other anymore, especially that we are scattered all over the Peninsula, with our own agenda and life to move on to.
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November 2, 2014

Thank You



Yesterday was All Saints' Day. It was also my birthday.
I am not the most faithful person - I skip church most of the times, with the excuse that I'm too far away from home and the Catholic churches here are unfamiliar to me; I forget to say prayers before sleep, and strictly speaking, before and after meal.

But it was All Saints' Day, and my birthday, and also because I was overwhelmed by all these emotions inside me that needed to be released.
My heart urged me to be near to Him, and so I followed.

I am thankful to be able to celebrate my 23rd birthday, and that I only have a little obstacles in my life growing up.
I am also thankful to have friends that celebrate my big day with me; old friends that remember my birthday, as well as those that have wished me using the traditional method by picking up the phone to call me, even though social media is obviously the easiest and effortless way.
And most importantly, I'm grateful that I have a family that loves and supports me unconditionally.

I am not the best person - I am full of flaws, and sometimes I can be extremely difficult to deal with. (OK, probably most of the times).
But I am glad to have a bunch of people that choose to stick with me, even after learning my imperfection and have decided to sail with it.

Thank you for accepting the way I am, thanks for not giving up on me, and thanks for celebrating my 23rd birthday with me.
All the thoughts and efforts are deeply appreciated, and I will keep them close to my heart.


P/s: My dear friend made the chocolate cake on the right. Isn't she talented? x

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October 29, 2014

September Sephora Mini Haul!


Eyeko Skinny Brush Mascara [RM59.00]
Benefit Cosmetics the POREfessional (Travel Size) [RM40.00]
Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray (Travel Size) [RM49.00]

All items purchased with 10% discount all thanks to Sephora - Hallelujah!

The primer is okay-ish. I bought the sample size to see whether does it really worth all the raves on the blogosphere. It does make my skin smoother. But I prefer my Etude House Sunprise Cotton Touch Powder Cream that acts as a sunscreen and a primer. (But it is sadly discontinued. Why?!)

Eyeko mascara on the other hand, manages to make my lashes look long and gorgeous. However the formula is very very wet and it often clumps up my lashes. Boo. Mascara is always a hit or miss for me. Oh well, the search vontinues.

And also, the makeup setting spray - Definitely a HG! As you would have known I am not a big fan of foundation so I usually only put on sunscreen and blushes to work and my blushes would fade like just after a few hours.
This setting spray, my life saviour not only helps set and makes my makeup last the whole day, it also somehow make my skin looks fresh and dewy as if my skin glows in a natural way. I definitely recommend this!
One thing I don't like about this product is the nozzle. The nozzle is not like the usual hair spray kind of nozzle probably because this is in travel size. So I would suggest buying the actual size unless you need one for travel.
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October 22, 2014

Au revoir! Till we meet again.



It has been a rough week for me. Mentally and physically.

First off, I caught a cold on Sunday night which eventually progressed into a flu. Me. She who never gets sick. Now let's hope the fever won't kick in.

Secondly, someone very dear to me at work resigned. And her departure breaks me.
How should I categorise her? She is my superior at work, a friend after 5, and most importantly a mentor to me. Funny how we only know each other for 3 months but I feel like I've known her forever. She's that kind of person that makes one feel really comfortable around her. I feel safe around her. Like even if the sky is falling she'd figure something out and we'll survive anyway. Sounds like I'm exaggerating but it is exactly how I feel around her. I guess she's sort of like a big sister to me too.
We're standing on different continent right now - Literally. Perhaps this is what breaks me. That we might not see each other again. Monday was her last day at work. The day that came too soon and the moment I dreaded so much since I learnt her departure. Can you imagine how hard to hold back tears? Needless to say, I failed. I had to refrain myself from sobbing like a maniac the whole time, not until I caged myself in my car. I had a good cry on the way home from work, as if I have just broken up with a lover. I know, I sound crazy. All motorists that passed by me must have thought I'm crazy too. But I can't help it.
I hate goodbyes. I'm horrible at goodbyes - I simply do not know how to deal with them.
Work just feels so different now. I feel so lost without her. She was our anchor, our beacon and guidance; even co-workers from other department depended on her. But I guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it.

But I wish her well - She'll shine and excel anyway. Because she's awesome like that.
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October 7, 2014

Current Reads


You know, you spend your whole life feeling like you don’t quite fit in anywhere. And then you walk into a room one day, whether it’s at university or an office or some kind of club, and you just go, ‘Ah. There they are.’ And suddenly you feel at home. 
- One Plus One, Jojo Moyes

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October 1, 2014

Not so awesome dream

I usually have wonderful dreams like hanging out with my dream crushes Tom Hiddleston, TOP (from the Korean boy band Bigbang, not TOP the laundry soap powder), Johnny Depp and even Lady Gaga. I don't really have batshit scary and crazy dream (except one that was kinda like Corpse Party parody wtf) but few days ago I had the most bizarre dream ever.

I was with my friends as usual and there was someone new whom we just met; she joined our big gang and we ended up hung out for quite some times. But she (or he, not sure... Everything were fuzzy when I woke up) turned out to be a spy for an alien species. She betrayed us and sold us out to the aliens and in the end we became slaves of the aliens as they dominated the world wtf. And I was forced to work with the aliens as some kind of police officer.

So one day one of my BFFs Tami and my coursemates had a mini truck where they'd load some goods from time to time and had shipment to the city. The truck was parked at an illegal spot and they didn't even have a business license for what they were doing. My alien superior wanted me to write them a fine and had them arrested but I defended them and said, no they're my friends! You can't do that!

The alien said, it's either you or them. I stunned. I didn't know what to do. Tami was begging me, and the alien superior scowled at me as if he ( or is it it?) was daring me to not take any action at all. And the words kept repeating in my mind, it's either you or them, you or them, you or them... And in the end I wrote the fine wtf. (Heartless tsk tsk.) I got up my superior's car and I looked at the side mirror while Tami yelled and cried on the very spot wtf so dramatic. And I woke up.

So there's that. The conclusion is, I'm a heartless asshole. The aliens are assholes too.
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September 28, 2014

Of having a crappy week, anxiety attack and whatnot



Self enrichment books are not my thing 'cuz I thought that they're full of bullshit. (They are probably full of bullshit, I dunno. I never read them.) But The Secret series are probably the only self enrichment book series that I am willing to pick up and read (which I have briefly talked about in my 1st post on this blog 2 years ago! Shit how time passed). And it makes me feel like I got the whole universe figured out. It makes so much sense. Not that it is magical or anything. The book is trying to say that, above everything, positivity is the most important element for a healthy mind that eventually leads to a happy life.

This week has been crappy... Things just didn't go my way. I was miserable and lonely even though I'm perfectly fine being lonely on normal days (I am kind of a loner in some sort of way); Simon and I didn't get along (Simon is my GPS), I couldn't read him like I always do - I had to travel a few miles more and ended up wasting more time and fuel, it was raining and the jam was terrible... And I had an episode of anxiety attack at a junction while waiting for the traffic light to turn green - I couldn't breathe, I felt like the walls were closing on me and my heart was going to jump out of my chest......

First panic attack I have ever experienced that came out of nowhere. I didn't even know I am capable of having one. What went wrong I wondered. Was it caused by some abandon or attachment issue? (I'll talk about that more in future.)

So you see, positivity is really important. You are what you think. Negative thoughts are corrosive for both your mind and soul. It eats you, it breathes you and you'd end up with all these angry and dark emotions people'd stay away from you. Whatever is going on in your mind, you are attracting it to you.

I haven't been practising The Secret principles for awhile now because I didn't need to - I was happy with my boring filled-with-routine life, I didn't want anything in particular... But as I said, this week has been really, really shitty. Perhaps it's my hormones, or that The Universe is trying to test me. But nonetheless, starting tomorrow I'll need to bring up all the principles from a rusty archive stored in my brain, start to think of nothing but positive thoughts and I'll sail through all the bumps on the road regardlessly. It's a promise to myself.

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September 18, 2014

My evening cleansing routine



Cleansing in my opinion, is the most important step in the entire skin care routine and one should never ever ever skip this crucial routine. Your skin deserves a very thorough cleanse especially you have makeup on every single day, or else you'd end up with a full face of pimples. Urgh.

My routine involves double cleansing, or rather, triple cleansing? You'll see.

To start off with, I usually use Clarins Instant Eye Makeup Remover to remove any eye makeup. Drugstore wise, Maybelline or L'oreal eye makeup remover is an excellent alternative. I'd normally skip this step if I only have my sunscreen on.

After that, I'd warm up my palms by rubbing them against each other and pump my trusty Clarins Cleansing Milk with Alpine Herbs onto my hand and massage them evenly onto my face. You see, I'm a cleansing milk kind of gal - definitely not a fan of cleansing oil as I dislike the heavy oily residues on my face after using one not to mention that it doesn't give me the squeaky clean feeling. I also tend to avoid makeup wipes by all means due to their reputation of ruining one's skin (try to Google it!) unless desperate measure.

After removing the cleansing milk using lukewarm water, I would cleanse my face again with a facial cleanser - I am using Cetaphil Gentle Skin cleanser for now; it did its job well plus it doesn't break me out.

Last but not least, even after going through eye makeup remover, cleansing milk and facial cleanser, I would again apply Bioderma Sensible H2O Micelle Solution that I got from my Singapore trip with a cotton pad just to make sure that I have gotten every impurity out of my pores. Yes, I am paranoid like that as pimples are my least favourite thing. Plus, you'd be amazed to find that some foundation is still stuck in your pores even after all the cleansing. Trust me. L'occitane Fresh Face Water used to be my favourite product for this particular step but in my humble opinion Bioderma is a much much better option. (What can I say? Bioderma is my HG skincare product.)

You should too try to cleanse your skin even when you have only applied a thin layer of sunscreen for the day. Better save than sorry! Don't wanna clog your pores don't cha?


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September 15, 2014

NYFW SS15 Top Picks









I was blown away by Tadashi Shoji half a year ago where he took us to a moonlit Moorish palace through his fabulous F/W14 collection. And yet he never cease to amaze me. I mean, look at all these marvellous pieces! Inspired by Venice, the SS15 collection were elegant, sophisticated, romantic, and all the tiny little architectural details alongside the soft pastel colours have actually elevated the entire collection into an entire level...... I'm in awe. Simply. Gorgeous.

So how about you? Which designer is your favourite and who is your top pick? x
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