Lang Leav

Some wounds never truly heal.
We just simply learn how to live with the pain for the rest of our lives.

Bits & Pieces

• Jam & Kaya • Podgy & The Banker • Everyone Loves Ikea • Black Market @ Main Place • Haagen-Dazs • Fat Spoon • Plan B •

Leaving KL in a week.
Saying goodbye is never easy.

Daily Night Routine

• DIY lavender pillow spray • scented floral bowl candle from Ikea • Current Read • Soap & Glory Hand Food Hand Cream • St. Ives 24 Hour Deep Restoring Body Lotion • My bedroom buddies from Ikea •

Can't believe we're in the last month of 2014!
Slow down please, time.
I'm trying to catch up, can't you see?

Breaking the first rule of Fight Club

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."

- Fight Club

Do we wear designer's clothes just because it bears the designer's name, or because it looks appealing to you, even without the name?

I despise materialism.
But did I ever take the bait? Did I become one of them?
I'd be lying if I say I didn't.

So yes, I'm a slave of money.
I'm also a hypocrite.

Throwback Travel Log #1: Tokyo

A couple nights ago I was chatting with a buddy of mine - me and him, we go way back. See that's the beauty of friendship between old friends, we only talk once half a year but 1 session is enough to last the following 6 months.

Anyway, he was talking about how he doesn't wanna turn into an ordinary person with a typical life -  someone who is content with his routine-based 9 to 5 life and spend the next 30 years living the same way, just like basically - everyone we know of. (Not that a life like this is bad, don't get me wrong.)

We are programmed and expected to be this way by the society - Graduate from high school, get a college degree, score a stable job with reasonable income, climb the corporate ladder, get married and make babies, and mould your kids the same way.

What happened to passion? What happened to doing things you love, things you strongly believe in?
Some people are living the life they envisioned, but sadly not all of us have the privilege.

We want to be anything but typical. We want to be extraordinary.
As hipster as it may sound.

I was with my parents the first time I visited Tokyo. We didn't stay for long - 2 nights perhaps.
It was fun; walking around the city as an outsider, taking everything the city has to offer for a tourist.
I went back a year later as I simply couldn't resist the temptation - the city mesmerises me in ways I can't explain.

To live and walk on the streets just like every other citizens - It was simply a delightful experience and I enjoyed every moment to bits... Not until staying in the city for almost a week, as I started to feel suffocated by the robotic lifestyle. I felt like as if I am a claustrophobic person, trapped in a small, dark and enclosed elevator with limited air supply.

I guess I was scared by the routines and rules you're expected to obligate - Queue in an ordered way before you get into the train, no talking in the train nor even elevator, black formal attire with black leather bag if you're a white collar... Heck, even college students who are on job hunts have their own specific dress codes. As if you'd be a social pariah if you try to stop doing exactly what others are doing and live outside of these brackets you are set to follow.

And today, I have finished my college, one leg stepped into the society and guess what?
I'm living exactly like what I was afraid I'd turn into. A person with boring 9 to 5, who choose to stay home on weekends because I'm always tired (sleep however more will never be enough), slowly losing my ambitions and goals because a simple, no-fuss life would maybe be enough.

I told myself I wouldn't turn into one of them.
I don't wanna be like them. But I'm turning into one of them.

What happened to being extraordinary? Isn't that what I want, what I always envision?
I ask myself everyday.

Pardon my exaggerations - These are just what I felt at that moment, an epiphany that I don't want to be ordinary, playing safe and not taking risks for the rest of my life just because I'm afraid of getting hurt.

A gentle reminder for myself, I guess.

Jess' Utterly Pointless Poem #1

I wonder why should I even bother
to fold my panties into
neat
tiny
little balls,
since I'm going to wear the freshly washed one on the next day.
But I fold them
anyway.