Of having a crappy week, anxiety attack and whatnot

Self enrichment books are not my thing 'cuz I thought that they're full of bullshit. (They are probably full of bullshit, I dunno. I never read them.) But The Secret series are probably the only self enrichment book series that I am willing to pick up and read (which I have briefly talked about in my 1st post on this blog 2 years ago! Shit how time passed). And it makes me feel like I got the whole universe figured out. It makes so much sense. Not that it is magical or anything. The book is trying to say that, above everything, positivity is the most important element for a healthy mind that eventually leads to a happy life.

This week has been crappy... Things just didn't go my way. I was miserable and lonely even though I'm perfectly fine being lonely on normal days (I am kind of a loner in some sort of way); Simon and I didn't get along (Simon is my GPS), I couldn't read him like I always do - I had to travel a few miles more and ended up wasting more time and fuel, it was raining and the jam was terrible... And I had an episode of anxiety attack at a junction while waiting for the traffic light to turn green - I couldn't breathe, I felt like the walls were closing on me and my heart was going to jump out of my chest......

First panic attack I have ever experienced that came out of nowhere. I didn't even know I am capable of having one. What went wrong I wondered. Was it caused by some abandon or attachment issue? (I'll talk about that more in future.)

So you see, positivity is really important. You are what you think. Negative thoughts are corrosive for both your mind and soul. It eats you, it breathes you and you'd end up with all these angry and dark emotions people'd stay away from you. Whatever is going on in your mind, you are attracting it to you.

I haven't been practising The Secret principles for awhile now because I didn't need to - I was happy with my boring filled-with-routine life, I didn't want anything in particular... But as I said, this week has been really, really shitty. Perhaps it's my hormones, or that The Universe is trying to test me. But nonetheless, starting tomorrow I'll need to bring up all the principles from a rusty archive stored in my brain, start to think of nothing but positive thoughts and I'll sail through all the bumps on the road regardlessly. It's a promise to myself.

My evening cleansing routine

Cleansing in my opinion, is the most important step in the entire skin care routine and one should never ever ever skip this crucial routine. Your skin deserves a very thorough cleanse especially you have makeup on every single day, or else you'd end up with a full face of pimples. Urgh.

My routine involves double cleansing, or rather, triple cleansing? You'll see.

To start off with, I usually use Clarins Instant Eye Makeup Remover to remove any eye makeup. Drugstore wise, Maybelline or L'oreal eye makeup remover is an excellent alternative. I'd normally skip this step if I only have my sunscreen on.

After that, I'd warm up my palms by rubbing them against each other and pump my trusty Clarins Cleansing Milk with Alpine Herbs onto my hand and massage them evenly onto my face. You see, I'm a cleansing milk kind of gal - definitely not a fan of cleansing oil as I dislike the heavy oily residues on my face after using one not to mention that it doesn't give me the squeaky clean feeling. I also tend to avoid makeup wipes by all means due to their reputation of ruining one's skin (try to Google it!) unless desperate measure.

After removing the cleansing milk using lukewarm water, I would cleanse my face again with a facial cleanser - I am using Cetaphil Gentle Skin cleanser for now; it did its job well plus it doesn't break me out.

Last but not least, even after going through eye makeup remover, cleansing milk and facial cleanser, I would again apply Bioderma Sensible H2O Micelle Solution that I got from my Singapore trip with a cotton pad just to make sure that I have gotten every impurity out of my pores. Yes, I am paranoid like that as pimples are my least favourite thing. Plus, you'd be amazed to find that some foundation is still stuck in your pores even after all the cleansing. Trust me. L'occitane Fresh Face Water used to be my favourite product for this particular step but in my humble opinion Bioderma is a much much better option. (What can I say? Bioderma is my HG skincare product.)

You should too try to cleanse your skin even when you have only applied a thin layer of sunscreen for the day. Better save than sorry! Don't wanna clog your pores don't cha?

NYFW SS15 Top Picks

I was blown away by Tadashi Shoji half a year ago where he took us to a moonlit Moorish palace through his fabulous F/W14 collection. And yet he never cease to amaze me. I mean, look at all these marvellous pieces! Inspired by Venice, the SS15 collection were elegant, sophisticated, romantic, and all the tiny little architectural details alongside the soft pastel colours have actually elevated the entire collection into an entire level...... I'm in awe. Simply. Gorgeous.

So how about you? Which designer is your favourite and who is your top pick? x

Doing the right thing..?

All my life, I always find myself to be stuck in a fairly small community. Ever since I have graduated from my high school, it seems like no matter what you do, you just can't escape from the very same community. Even though high school is so behind my back and we're not seeing everyone anymore, I always find that we are still very close and we keep each other's life up-to-date.

People always say what's in the past is in the past. SO not true. From where I come from, past haunts you forever. People will always remember what you did and your glorious history will be mentioned from time to time. And your image in everyone's mind will tend to remain the same for a very very long time even though you have made some changes successfully.
ie. A high school reunion gathering - "Remember her? Remember what she did last time?"

True story. It might sounds rather pathetic, but it is actually a very good moral guidance for me whenever I'm about to make a big decision, even though it is also true that you shouldn't let people's thoughts to bother you. But sometimes, what you think might be a right decision, might not actually be the best decision. And sometimes, people's judmental thoughts are actually right.

What will people think of me? Will people point fingers and talk about me behind my back? It prevents you from making a rash decision, you know what I'm saying? Like becoming the other woman, 'cuz trust me, that will haunt you for life. And you'll always become one of the after-meal topics in a reunion dinner. "Remember what she did?" Trust me. Been there done that.

What I'm trying to say is that, it's okay to follow your heart, or whatever hipster advice or excuse you told yourself (ie. YOLO, live without regret etc.), but you have to know, following your heart is overrated. And it's usually not the right thing to do. If everyone lives by the code follow your heart 'cus you only live once!, this world we live in would be so full of disasters. Imagine killers murdering people on streets and they can't be arrested because they are simply following their hearts. Or people peeing on the streets just because. You know what I'm trying to say?

Sometimes people just seem to forget that life is like a huge portfolio and what one did, no matter good or bad, benign or in purpose, contributes to one's portfolio. You can run away from your past and have a fresh start over in a new city, but people will not forget. Your past will always come back and kick you in the ass. (I mean, look at Serena from Gossip Girls? Best example or what?)

Just my two cents. *shrugs*