The one that got away

My senior yearbook (2008).

(Jeez! This post is like a therapy/self-confession session!)

Now that I'm older, I realised my social circle is getting smaller and I'm constantly thinking of friends that I've made and lost.

I'm never good at social - I dunno what you think of me, I may be a chatterbox (well, among my friends and people I'm familiar/comfortable with) but I am anything but outgoing.
Phone calls, the silent moment between conversations and making new friends make me nervous.
And I am never good in maintaining a friendship.

Sometimes when I see photos of my old friends hanging out together on Facebook, I feel like I want to be part of them but hey, we're no longer close like we used to be.

I used to tell myself, "Those who are willing to stay, will stay." But the truth is, I never pay much effort in maintaining a relationship and as a result, our friendships fade away. And now when I want to mend these broken things, how should I do that? Randomly text them and say, "Hey how are you doing? I've been thinking 'bout cha!" I don't think so.

There was a girl, we were the classic BFF example - We were in the same society, we ate our breakfast & lunch together, we took the same bus etc; we were basically inseparable. She was quiet while I was chatty; she was the smart one whereas I was the least bright; she even brought everyone into sharing my 14th birthday present... But what happened? Why aren't us friends anymore? ... That got me thinking.

We never really had some heart to heart talk... Well I did, I was the expressive one but she was the kind that kept everything to herself (Or maybe I wasn't the one she felt comfortable sharing secret with. Ok now I'm hurt). I've probably said alot of dumb shit and she might thought I was stupid wtf (now I'm embarrassed but mind you I was 13!). And maybe I was too hard to deal with or wasn't thoughtful enough.

Well actually We still hung out even after we graduated from high school but not anymore since we started our pre-U studies. She had since found a new gang of BFF while I, being a sour grape, felt jealous of her/them and started talking behind her back with our old gang. Maybe things fell apart from here.

Now that I think of it, I was too naive to realise that it's normal to have different friends in different circles. And that thinking "her new BFFs are cooler than us" are plain stupid. Maybe if I had not drift away first, we would still be friends right now.

No point crying over spilled milk. Maybe some day we'll reconnect again. But the only solution right now is to hold on to the all the good ones I have now and avoid repeating the "good jobs" I've done in maintaining a friendship. But still, thanks to those who stayed, from the very beginning until now. And even though I've lost some, I'm so grateful that I still have you in my life. 9 years (or more!) and counting. I'm truly blessed.





x Jess

My glucose they be poppin'

Guess what. It's finger pricking day.

It wasn't my first finger pricking and this lab session was fun... Until you were poked more than 3 times on the same finger. The needles didn't get deep enough a few times wtf.

And also, my total cholesterol level & triglyceride (TG) level were "borderline high" wtf fml.
Amazingly my glucose level was normal even though I had a banana 1 hour before the test.

I can't imagine what is my cholesterol level if I did not eat oat & whole grain cereal as I do now (3 weeks and counting).
I guess it's time to suck it up and hit the gym for some cardio no matter how reluctant I am.
I've been wanting to start eating clean but it's so hard! (I know I know, finding excuse for myself)

First of all, I have no idea how to cook a "clean" meal Yes I get the concept, but the recipe..? They're so complex! (excuse detected) Why isn't there a "clean" meal that only requires 5 minutes for preparation? (MORE EXCUSE!) And not to forget cooking for one is so hard. You have the pressure constantly to finish all the fresh food before it is spoiled (endless excuse). Like my banana. That I bought on Monday & turned black on Thurs & Fri (CAN ANYONE TEACH ME HOW TO LET THEM STAY FRESH?!).

So yea. At least eating whole grain cereal is the first baby step. Right? Right?
Hitting the gym next week. Zumba please have mercy on me.

x Jess

Tony Moly Fruit Princess Lip Gloss

My sister-in-law has just came back from Korea & guess what she bought me!

Pomegranate Princess 석류 공주 (5호)

"I'd buy you facial masks but judging from the pile of masks you & Ma put inside the fridge that I bought for you the last time I assume that this might be a better souvenir." - My sister-in-law.

Isn't it the cutest thing ever?!
According to my sister-in-law, the old princess gloss was shorter and more petit. When she saw this she told the poor Korean sales girl that she wanted the small one but the girl insisted that there isn't a "small one".

Swatch under fluorescent light.[

I am not a lip gloss fan as they make me looks like I have a layer of oil on my lips. If I want my lips to shine I usually coat a layer of Vaseline on my lipstick-coloured lips.

But Pomegranate Princess is not your usual lip gloss, she smells good (but not until the point that it irritates you) & the colour is simply gorgeous. This has became my daily application too.

Oh well, credits go to Tony Moly & my sister-in-law. Sorry masks, next time perhaps.

Oops I did it again.

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain - 050 “Precious”

I bought this Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain a few weeks ago after reading Paris B's post about this lip crayon.

While standing in front of the counter & testing for the colours my mom told me, "it's going to be dry on your lips. Are you sure you want to buy this?" Seeing the swatches on my hand and that the textures weren't so matte, I dismissed the thought and said, "Nah. I think it'll be fine."

AND I was wrong. Mother's always right kids, remember that.
(note: My lips are often chapped and so dry that even the skin around the edge of my lips are peeling. It has been this way for almost a year. The condition has improved though, thanks to Vaseline and Burt's Bees.)

There isn't much difference before or after application as it is a shade of nude.
Question: Why did I get another nude lipstick/balm stain when I already got 2 nude lipsticks in my drawer!

Under indoor daylight, a coat of "Precious".

One thing about this balm stain is that it doesn't stain my mug or bottle when I'm drinking water off them. I still wear it everyday though despite that it makes my lips dry & that the color pigments are stuck in between the lines on my lips. Also, sometimes the colour fades to the edge of my lips & makes me look like I have a pink lip line wtf.

Should have gotten "Rendezvous" instead. Maybe next time. *slaps* NO!

x Jess