The past 3 months in a nutshell.

Yes. I'm still alive. Finals were a pain in the arse and am glad it's finally over. Don't really care about the results now as what's past is past. I had a blast on my birthday though. Cakes, surprises, balloons, more cakes & lovely companies. What more can I ask? Very blessed to have what I have right now.

Few more days till 2014. I am never a new year resolution girl 'cuz I know I won't achieve anything. But so far what have I achieved this year?

Hmm. Gained a couple pounds, had a relationship, ended a relationship when I realised that I'm not entirely ready yet, conquered the 4th and 5th semester of my tertiary education (jeez, sem 4 feels like eons ago), and lastly but most importantly I've made some great friends that brightens my day. So I guess 2013 is pretty good ey?

Fixed my hair a day before Christmas to get ready for a fresh start. The 6th semester will be my last semester in campus as off we go to the career field after that. Can't really describe how I'm feeling - Anticipation for a new beginning yet fearing the unknown world. Humans, why are you so full of self-contradiction?

Despite all the mixed feelings, now I feel like I have a clearer vision of what I want for my future and hopefully I will make it there. Hell, I must make it there no matter what for my own sake.

Merry Christmas, you. And cheers to a new year & another chance for us to get it right.

x Jess

Home

Am having mid-semester break now hence I'm back at home.
It's more like a rehab to me. A place for me to stay away from all the distraught thoughts.

And I've been doing nothing but reading some Mandarin novels, fanfictions and also... finished watching A:TLA & TLoK (hurray!).
There goes 4 days of my 1 week holiday. Sucks.

Am tying to spend more time with my parents but ended up spending more time with the computer (as usual).
The truth is, I dunno how to. This is just the way we are.
Dad - TV, mom - busy doing something, me - in my bedroom. Or perhaps I should come up with something - time for some family bonding?
Also, mom needs someone to talk to. I'm more a listener/responder than a chitty-chatty but hey, I'm trying.
The other night she told me,

"You know last night when we were talking, daddy counted."

"He counted the days of us, together. When you were in high school you joined the band and you were at school most of your times. And after that you went to college, you stayed outside. Then you went to KL."

"The days of you staying by our sides... they aren't much."

And then, I felt a tightness in my chest.

x Jess

Moonlight.

Nothing, nothing beats Debussy's Clair de Lune.

Raw.

So my parents have just came back from a little trip to Chiang Mai and my dad has been bombarding me with some photos of him and my mom.

Let's face it. My mom forced him to send the photos.
"Let them see our photos, send them! Or post on web!"
By web she means Facebook.

And seeing the photos is like... receiving a wake up call.

...My parents are old now. Like, old old.
Funny how every time I think of them, I still picture them in the younger days.
Perhaps deep down I refuse to grow up. I'll always be their little daughter, that hand needs to be held before crossing the road.

My dad used to be very, very fat so we kept urging him to lose some weight.
After a couple years of trying, now that he has lost his tummy and all, I'm starting to worry that is he losing too much weight?
Sometimes pictures show more than what you see in reality.

And my mom. God. Where should I even begin? She used to be so pretty and youthful. But the grey hair and the tired face shown on the photos made my cringe.

I dunno how to describe what I'm feeling right now. This... emotion. Sorrow, perhaps?
And the worst part is, I can do nothing about it. It's beyond my power. Except for appreciating their presence more. And try not to think about it.

That one day I'll have to cross the road without them holding my hands.
The two major pillars of my life. crumbling down.
What's coming for me. And the days after.
I don't think I'll ever be prepared for that. No man is programmed to be prepared for that.

Can we go back to that Saturday afternoon when I was 6?
Where 5 of us including my brothers were watching some western movie in my parents' room.
Dad was sleeping, mom was ironing clothes, we were sititng on the floor...
Just 5 of us, inside a little room. As simple, as blissful as that.
... I'd trade anything in the world for that moment.

x Jess

An answer from the Universe.

The 20 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Yourself.

This is perhaps the solution to all my questions. Read it up if you have the time. Cheers.

x Jess

Carpe diem.

Bought this in Nagoya, Japan 2 years ago (woah, how time flies) on a chilly night.

Burst into Starbucks and had an awkward brief conversation with the barista, well given the fact that all I know how to speak is "マレーシアからです 日本語が話せません" (I come from Malaysia. I don't speak Japanese). Damn the Japanese they speak so fast my brain can't even think of a response to reply. All I could do was nod or respond by giving them an awkward smile. Bet I look like an idiot.

Anyway back to the topic. Funny how I bought a tumbler but I have never used it. Never, for the last 2 years. It's just that every time when I want to use it, all I can think of is breaking it or dropping it etc. I've been this way for all my life. Bought a nice pencil box or eraser (yes I know, it's just a freaking eraser), kept them in my drawer. Bags or clothes that held a special meaning or was given by someone special, locked 'em in the closet. Even food! Bought a cake from Japan and didn't eat it not until the expiry date (I know. Don't judge). Well you see the pattern.

I'm just afraid of losing things that are important to me, you know? Even a tiny dent or scratch flips my switch. I just can't bear it (Jeez I sound like I have some serious issue). My mom saw it through me and she said, "When are you going to use it then? When you're old? When you're dead? ... You can't take it to your grave, you know."

Ok this post is going no where. What I want to say is: live for the moment, or carpe diem. You'll never know when's your last day, so what's worth of not living your life, or not being who you want until the last of your days?

I have no idea what brought up this thought. Maybe because that it's been extremely stressful these few days, making me to think stuff that is always hidden beneath a part of my brain, or maybe because of this article.

Am I making the right choice? Am I doing what I want to do? Will my future self hate me for making this choice? What will she say? Will my parents be proud of me? I've been asking myself lately. And sometimes the future scares me. I know everyone has the same thought and they have also been constantly questioning themselves throughout their entire lives. Maybe it's a part of being an adult, or maybe it's just how society has shaped us.

... Enough of the dark thought! Hakuna matata! Why worry about tomorrow when you know everything will work out just well, and the problems will be solved by the universe? Yup that's kinda my law of attraction.

Again, this is going nowhere. Best if I hit the sack now cuz my brain is frying up. Until the next time, right when I've finished all my tasks. Sad story of a lifeless 3rd year student.

x Jess

The one that got away

My senior yearbook (2008).

(Jeez! This post is like a therapy/self-confession session!)

Now that I'm older, I realised my social circle is getting smaller and I'm constantly thinking of friends that I've made and lost.

I'm never good at social - I dunno what you think of me, I may be a chatterbox (well, among my friends and people I'm familiar/comfortable with) but I am anything but outgoing.
Phone calls, the silent moment between conversations and making new friends make me nervous.
And I am never good in maintaining a friendship.

Sometimes when I see photos of my old friends hanging out together on Facebook, I feel like I want to be part of them but hey, we're no longer close like we used to be.

I used to tell myself, "Those who are willing to stay, will stay." But the truth is, I never pay much effort in maintaining a relationship and as a result, our friendships fade away. And now when I want to mend these broken things, how should I do that? Randomly text them and say, "Hey how are you doing? I've been thinking 'bout cha!" I don't think so.

There was a girl, we were the classic BFF example - We were in the same society, we ate our breakfast & lunch together, we took the same bus etc; we were basically inseparable. She was quiet while I was chatty; she was the smart one whereas I was the least bright; she even brought everyone into sharing my 14th birthday present... But what happened? Why aren't us friends anymore? ... That got me thinking.

We never really had some heart to heart talk... Well I did, I was the expressive one but she was the kind that kept everything to herself (Or maybe I wasn't the one she felt comfortable sharing secret with. Ok now I'm hurt). I've probably said alot of dumb shit and she might thought I was stupid wtf (now I'm embarrassed but mind you I was 13!). And maybe I was too hard to deal with or wasn't thoughtful enough.

Well actually We still hung out even after we graduated from high school but not anymore since we started our pre-U studies. She had since found a new gang of BFF while I, being a sour grape, felt jealous of her/them and started talking behind her back with our old gang. Maybe things fell apart from here.

Now that I think of it, I was too naive to realise that it's normal to have different friends in different circles. And that thinking "her new BFFs are cooler than us" are plain stupid. Maybe if I had not drift away first, we would still be friends right now.

No point crying over spilled milk. Maybe some day we'll reconnect again. But the only solution right now is to hold on to the all the good ones I have now and avoid repeating the "good jobs" I've done in maintaining a friendship. But still, thanks to those who stayed, from the very beginning until now. And even though I've lost some, I'm so grateful that I still have you in my life. 9 years (or more!) and counting. I'm truly blessed.





x Jess

My glucose they be poppin'

Guess what. It's finger pricking day.

It wasn't my first finger pricking and this lab session was fun... Until you were poked more than 3 times on the same finger. The needles didn't get deep enough a few times wtf.

And also, my total cholesterol level & triglyceride (TG) level were "borderline high" wtf fml.
Amazingly my glucose level was normal even though I had a banana 1 hour before the test.

I can't imagine what is my cholesterol level if I did not eat oat & whole grain cereal as I do now (3 weeks and counting).
I guess it's time to suck it up and hit the gym for some cardio no matter how reluctant I am.
I've been wanting to start eating clean but it's so hard! (I know I know, finding excuse for myself)

First of all, I have no idea how to cook a "clean" meal Yes I get the concept, but the recipe..? They're so complex! (excuse detected) Why isn't there a "clean" meal that only requires 5 minutes for preparation? (MORE EXCUSE!) And not to forget cooking for one is so hard. You have the pressure constantly to finish all the fresh food before it is spoiled (endless excuse). Like my banana. That I bought on Monday & turned black on Thurs & Fri (CAN ANYONE TEACH ME HOW TO LET THEM STAY FRESH?!).

So yea. At least eating whole grain cereal is the first baby step. Right? Right?
Hitting the gym next week. Zumba please have mercy on me.

x Jess

Tony Moly Fruit Princess Lip Gloss

My sister-in-law has just came back from Korea & guess what she bought me!

Pomegranate Princess 석류 공주 (5호)

"I'd buy you facial masks but judging from the pile of masks you & Ma put inside the fridge that I bought for you the last time I assume that this might be a better souvenir." - My sister-in-law.

Isn't it the cutest thing ever?!
According to my sister-in-law, the old princess gloss was shorter and more petit. When she saw this she told the poor Korean sales girl that she wanted the small one but the girl insisted that there isn't a "small one".

Swatch under fluorescent light.[

I am not a lip gloss fan as they make me looks like I have a layer of oil on my lips. If I want my lips to shine I usually coat a layer of Vaseline on my lipstick-coloured lips.

But Pomegranate Princess is not your usual lip gloss, she smells good (but not until the point that it irritates you) & the colour is simply gorgeous. This has became my daily application too.

Oh well, credits go to Tony Moly & my sister-in-law. Sorry masks, next time perhaps.

Oops I did it again.

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain - 050 “Precious”

I bought this Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain a few weeks ago after reading Paris B's post about this lip crayon.

While standing in front of the counter & testing for the colours my mom told me, "it's going to be dry on your lips. Are you sure you want to buy this?" Seeing the swatches on my hand and that the textures weren't so matte, I dismissed the thought and said, "Nah. I think it'll be fine."

AND I was wrong. Mother's always right kids, remember that.
(note: My lips are often chapped and so dry that even the skin around the edge of my lips are peeling. It has been this way for almost a year. The condition has improved though, thanks to Vaseline and Burt's Bees.)

There isn't much difference before or after application as it is a shade of nude.
Question: Why did I get another nude lipstick/balm stain when I already got 2 nude lipsticks in my drawer!

Under indoor daylight, a coat of "Precious".

One thing about this balm stain is that it doesn't stain my mug or bottle when I'm drinking water off them. I still wear it everyday though despite that it makes my lips dry & that the color pigments are stuck in between the lines on my lips. Also, sometimes the colour fades to the edge of my lips & makes me look like I have a pink lip line wtf.

Should have gotten "Rendezvous" instead. Maybe next time. *slaps* NO!

x Jess

Heavenly good food

Bella & the Jets @ The Red Bean Bag, Publika.[

Wednesday is always joyful as you know you have successfully gone through half of a dreaful week - far from Monday & a little bit more until Friday. And also, especially when you only have a 90 minutes class in the morning... Or maybe it'st just me. Double joyful Wednesday.

My girls & I decided to go The Red Beanbag at Publika for brunch (the correct usage of word I reckon, having Jamie Chin's pet peeve regarding brunch in mind). I decided to have Bella & The Jets since I'm craving for mushrooms constantly - don't judge, and  a refreshing red apple & dragon fruits Smooshie which is absolutely a-MAH-zing (trying to sound like Penny here).

While we were walking around Publika after our satisfying brunch, we stumbled upon an art exhibition, the 50 Shades of Malaysia project contributed by Artemis Art to celebrate Malaysia’s 50th Anniversary on 16th September 2013 with the theme of reflecting the younger generation's thoughts & views on their home land (How do you feel about Malaysia?)

While browsing through all the beautiful arts presented by various artists, a particular painting caught my attention.

「Index Fingers」by Celine Wong - Lihua

"Although a supposedly democratic country, there are loopholes in our voting system. This work relates to the recent GE13 general elections where the purportedly indelible ink used could be easily washed off, giving rise to fears of potential vote fraud..."

Isn't it interesting? What do you think? & what is your thoughts on our home country?

x Jess

Summer book challenge #4: Sh*t My Dad Says

Sh*t Justin Halpern's Dad Says.

This book has been on my to-read list for a long while. When I had the RM200 book vouchers on hands, guess what's the 1st book I searched for on the Kinokuniya search machine?

... And the Kinokuniya machine directed me to the philosophy category and I managed to find this book out from few racks of Ancient Greek philosophy literature. You are on the same level with Socrates & Plato, Mr. Sam Halpern! (I wonder what will he say)

Anyway, I was expecting many funny moments & deep, witty, sarcastic but meaningful golden quotes from Mr. Halpern given that many Goodreads user have rated this book 5 stars, & I am not disappointed.

I have to say that this book is my favourite read from my summer book challenge list apart from Beautiful Ruins. Unfortunately I did not manage to finish Middlesex & Shadow of Night before the break ended. :(

“People are always trying to tell you how they feel. Some of them say it outright, and some of them, they tell you with their actions. And you have to listen. I don't know what will happen with your lady friend. I think she's a nice person, and I hope you get what you want. But do me a favor: Listen, and don't ignore what you hear.”

"Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should.That's the definition of an asshole."

“If you work hard and study hard. And you fuck up. That's okay. If you fuck up and you fuck up, then you're a fuckup.”

“There seem to be a lot of gay people there...Oh please, as if that's what I meant by that. Trust me, none of them would ever want to fuck you anyway. They're gay, not blind.”

“No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.”

On Lego's:
"Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit.”

On Telemarketer Phone Calls:
“Hello?…Fuck you.”

One day I was on a walk with him and my dog, Angus, who was sniffing around in a bush outside a neighbor’s house. My dad turned to me and said, “Look at the dog’s asshole.”
“What? Why?”
“You can tell by the dilation of his asshole that he’s going to shit soon. See. There it goes.”
It was at that moment, as my dog emptied his bowels in my neighbor’s yard and my dad stood there proudly watching his prediction come true, that I realized how wise, even prophetic, he really is.”

So thank you Mr. Sam Halpern, for all the philosophy you've taught Justin & indirectly, us.

x Jess

Happy Endings: More please!

Bumped that Happy Endings got cancelled. It is a show about 6 grown ups that act like children - Dave, Alex, Jane, Brad, Max & Penny, which have been friends since like, forever.

It was really funny & I like the friendship between 6 of them even though I'm constantly annoyed by Max. Brad & Jane are my favourite characters, thumbs up to Damon Wayans, Jr. & Eliza Coupe. Oh well, at least I can see Damon Wayans, Jr. again at New Girl. (On a side note, isn't Damon Wayans, Sr.'s cameo appearance the best apart from RuPaul?)

Just Brad & Max having their moments.

Here's my favourite quotes from Happy Endings.

Penny: Davey what's the name of that movie about the horse that goes to the war?
Alex: Uhh War Biscuit, Duh.

Alex: I get the P shaped sandwiches for Penny and Pete, but what is with the lower case b's?

Jane: Wait Big Dave is coming to town? God I love your dad!
Alex: Ugh, the man hates me for no reason.
Everyone: You left Dave at the altar!!!

Max: You know what I was thinking about? If Mary Tyler Moore married and then divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Moore, then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler Moore Tyler Moore Moore Moore? Hm.

Growing up is no fun at all

Just Something △ Gather Street △ Miam Miam △ Häagen-Dazs △ Pik Nik △ Mei Tip Thai Food

Meeting friends is my favourite part of the holiday besides spending quality time with my parents. However it is often very hard to have a good meet up since everyone is so busy with their lives and also due to the weird semester break arrangement since we are all from different university. Thankfully we had a Raya holiday on the beginning of August so everyone is back including a friend who is studying in the State (summer break, hee).

Meet up sessions had always been great; we talked about our pasts & our future (which nearly made us jizz our pants - really not looking forward to the uncertainties). I'm happy and sad at the same time - I'm glad that we are still friends and still have each others in mind, but sad because in spite of feeling everything is still the same, deep down you can't help but feel that everything has changed.

Soon we'll be talking about internship (already talking about that though), convocation (pfft, some of our old high school friends are already graduated), jobs, wedding, babies, diapers and whatnot.

Sigh, I wish I can rewind the time to 2007 sometimes.

x Jess

You dream alot when you sleep alot.

So I was sitting beside Lady Gaga (wtf #1), and she was supposed to write me a song for my album (wtf #2). While we were sitting at a coffee shop or something discussing the lyrics, her backup male dancer was poking me like I was a piece of cooked meat (wtf #3).

I said to her, "Do you mind... You know, your dancer? He keeps poking me,"
And Lady Gaga looked like she just had the whole universe figured out, and sang, "Po po po poking you po po poking you."

(Wtf #4).

Not knowing this was a dream, I said, "What the fuck is wrong with you people."

She ignored me, and proceeded to explain a stage I was to perform with her (wtf #5). It was basically a swimming pool with an open bar in the middle of the pool & we were supposed to sing (& dance) around the bar. And I told her, "I can't do it. It's too fucking slippery!" (wtf #6) She ignored me anyway.

And then we were shifted into a back alley suddenly and someone shouted "IT'S DINNAH TIMEEEE!" and a pack of bulldogs in several sizes including the cartoon version bull dog you saw in Tom & Jerry ran across the alley toward the kitchen while I was standing in the middle of the road. And they stomped past me as if I was a camera in a movie shooting scene (wtf #7).

And then I woke up. Wondernig what the fuck just happened.

x Jess

Summer book challenge #3: Tell the Wolves I'm Home

There's always a wolf, living inside your heart, and no matter how many lies you tell yourself that everything is okay everything is fine, at the end of the day the wolf will still bring the guilt out of you, corroding your heart & mind in the middle of the night.

#4

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times,
in life after life, in age after age forever.
My spell-bound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs
that you take as your gift, wear round your neck in your many forms
in life after life, in age after age forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, its age-old pain,
its ancient tale of being apart or together,
as I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge
clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
you become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount
at the heart of time love of one for another.
We have played alongside millions of lovers, shared in the same
shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell--
old love, but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you,
the love of all man's days both past and forever:
universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life,
the memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours--
and the songs of every poet past and forever.

--Rabindranath Tagore

One of my fav poem.

 

x Jess

 

The official end of my semester 4.

I guess the burial of lecture notes underneath my study desk helped – saying goodbye and that we will not meet ever again assured my heart that I will pass this semester.

Results were released on Monday right before I got really sick and slept for 2 days consecutively. I got 2 friggin A- (& 1 A for Korean, my elective), 1st time in 2 years of studies. I was really really happy, but asked myself not to be cocky or too self-confidence and be sure to work extra hard for the coming semester at the same time.

Bummed that I have to go through the episode for 2 more semesters (but then studying is still better than working full time no matter how... according to some friends). The final exam was really hard for me. I did not do well for my midterms (and the only person I can blame is me) so I had to push myself real hard so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself further. Yes pride is my weakness (or the opposite) and it can either helps you or kills you. Bear in mind that I am really not a study person – Making it extra hard to memorise all those shits especially when they didn't even make much sense to me. I wanted to give up, hide in a corner to sulk and pretend I don’t care but I can’t. I can’t forget the humiliating moment when I found out that I got the lowest mark of a subject midterm paper out of my class. I broke down cuz I couldn’t deal with the pressure anymore, I couldn’t sleep, I was angry at myself and the universe, I cried in my boyfriend’s arm… But I’m glad in the end it’s all worth it. Thanks to my friends and my boyfriend for supporting/motivating me endlessly and also the universe/god for answering my prayers, or law of attraction, don’t care it’s the same to me… I do believe religion exists for a reason no matter you believe in it or not, perhaps we’ll talk about it the other time.

Summer book challege #2: Beautiful Ruins

So. Many. Feelings. ;___;

First of all, whoa so many characters along with back stories in a book! But all lead to the same point in which sometimes life just doesn’t play out like what you have planned or what you have in mind of, but it will turn out just fine eventually. Just like what Pat (senior)’s mom said, “Sometimes what we want to do and what we must do are not the same. The smaller the space between your desire and what is right, the happier you will be.” - Noted, Antonia. Thanks for the tips.

Of all the mini stories, Maria’s got to me the most - She loves this American stranger more than every man she’s ever known, and that’s why she had to let him go, she knew that there’s no future between them.

"But I think some people wait forever, and only at the end of their lives do they realise that their lives has happened while they were waiting for it to start."

I guess it applies to all of us - We’re too beautiful ruins.

Summer book challege #1: The Fault in Our Stars

The Fault in Whose Stars?

There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.

John Green – The Fault in Our Stars

Just finished reading this book. Didn’t like it nor hate it. It was funny at the beginning and lots of tears in the end. Augustus & Hazel talk like script writers instead of teenagers. The book was enjoyable nonetheless.

His Prince & His Fox

To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…

Le Petit Prince, 1st ever book that made me cry when I was 11.

#3

Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.

Marc Hack (via seabois)

Bye Cory.

I used to weep listening to this song. He wasn’t the most skillful singer but you can hear the sincerity between the words. RIP Cory, thanks for bringing joy and laughter. You’ll be missed. x

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/)

A Sunday dream

Had a dream that I was in a public toilet, doing business no. 2 & there was a long queue after me so I decided to put a halt on my business and left. My brother showed up, told me he was looking for me everywhere and told me I should board the plane before the gate closed (at this point I realised I was in an airport the whole time). So I climbed lots of stairs and escalators, not knowing where to go, kept thinking “where the heck is that god damn gate and why the hell am I boarding a plane? Where am I going?!” (It’s a dream, after all) I heard people cheering my friend toward the highest floor downstairs, and I thought well let’s just keep climbing.

And I reached. A jumbo plane to the UK (And the funny thing is, this waiting lounge looked familiar). I kissed my dad and brother goodbye and went forward. Met my friends but they were already lining up and reaching the gate. The queue was too long so I decided to sit and wait.

And I met him. I sat right next to him, he did not recognise me. I whispered a thank you, not recognising him too. And then I woke up.
I should have say hi.

I have never dreamed of him before, this is a first.
Hi my old friend, what are you doing in an airport waiting lounge? How’s the heaven treating you? You did not age at all Danny.
I should have say hi.

Of blender and smoothies.

Kiwi-strawberry smoothies.

So once upon a time I was in a smoothie fever – googling recipe, turning the kitchen into a mess and all… Including buying a “shake ‘n take” blender online for RM55. It arrived last week and I bought some fruits immediately, but then I don’t have the time to actually blend something – I’m at my boyfriend’s place all the time.

Then I realised I can’t delay anymore? Cuz my fruits are turning into shits real fast. And turned out I was right. Some parts of the strawberries were mushy and I didn’t even need a knife to slice the over-ripen kiwis.

The end results were okay, expect that I forgot to add in sugar and ice cubes. And the blender smelled like some burnt motor shit, bloody hell.

1 more box of strawberries and 2 kiwis at home. They’d probably thinking wtf I’m mushy and over-ripe why you no eat me you dumbass! Right now.

Dumb and dumber shopping for a cooking pot

So my boyfriend and I had lunch at a mall some days ago and I wanted to buy a mini cooking pot that can satisfy my instant noodles crave. We finally saw a stainless steel pot which is in the right size in a store and I was wondering whether does it work on an induction stove as the place I’m currently renting only have 2 little induction cookers (meh but they have their advantages - landlord wouldn’t need to worry about the gas constantly). Last I remembered, my dad once tried to cook instant noodles (it’s a family thing) using a RM5 Daiso aluminium pot and the water couldn’t even warm up. So I googled it with my phone and turned out induction cooker works with anything that has magnetic properties including stainless steel and of course, excluding aluminium. But being an unfaithful person that always has doubt, I told my boyfriend that we should search for a magnet anyway to double confirm, just being careful and all. So both of us were searching high and low throughout the little store for a magnet. And I found one on a door of a steel cabinet (even smaller than a penny). But the magnet was too small comparing with the pot but my boyfriend told me he felt a little attraction (lol). So I bought the pot in the end.

I think the people working there might be thinking, wtf are these 2 monkeys doing?

Inspired again.

Went to Putraja and a small factory in Kajang today and was told to write 2 reports regarding this field trip. I was like, meh. Reports, outdoor, adult talks, boring.

But I learnt a lesson today: Things never come free, you have to work hard to earn it even though sometimes hard work doesn’t mean you’ll get back what you have given. Sometimes you’ll fail, but the failure shouldn’t make you stop. Just like what Pink said, you gotta get up and try try try.

This lady inspires me and gives me motivations to move forward. Thanks.

4 months.

The Royal Flush @ Oasis Square △ Häagen-Dazs Fondue

My pathetic little mid semester break is officially over yesterday.
Assignments are torturing me endlessly - there’s always more.

God bless my poor laptop, the keyboard is silently protesting against my long term abuse.

Golden Half V 4.0

My films are back!
Some photos are underexposed but the others were fine, am loving it! x

Midnight mind trailing

Love it.

Nobody said it was easy

This is what I chose.
It’s not that I have regretted,
It’s just that it’s not easy to leave home, even after so many times;
I thought I will get used to it but no, you can never get used to parting,
and it’s not easy at all.