So I was sitting beside Lady Gaga (wtf #1), and she was supposed to write me a song for my album (wtf #2). While we were sitting at a coffee shop or something discussing the lyrics, her backup male dancer was poking me like I was a piece of cooked meat (wtf #3).
I said to her, "Do you mind... You know, your dancer? He keeps poking me,"
And Lady Gaga looked like she just had the whole universe figured out, and sang, "Po po po poking you po po poking you."
(Wtf #4).
Not knowing this was a dream, I said, "What the fuck is wrong with you people."
She ignored me, and proceeded to explain a stage I was to perform with her (wtf #5). It was basically a swimming pool with an open bar in the middle of the pool & we were supposed to sing (& dance) around the bar. And I told her, "I can't do it. It's too fucking slippery!" (wtf #6) She ignored me anyway.
And then we were shifted into a back alley suddenly and someone shouted "IT'S DINNAH TIMEEEE!" and a pack of bulldogs in several sizes including the cartoon version bull dog you saw in Tom & Jerry ran across the alley toward the kitchen while I was standing in the middle of the road. And they stomped past me as if I was a camera in a movie shooting scene (wtf #7).
And then I woke up. Wondernig what the fuck just happened.
x Jess
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